An Annotated Thermometer for the US

60 Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one in their wardrobe)
50 Miami residents turn on the heat
  1. You can see your breath
  2. Californians shiver uncontrollably
  3. Minnesotans go swimming
35 Italian cars don't start
32 Water freezes
  1. You plan your vacation to Australia
  2. Minnesotans put on T-shirts
  3. Politicians begin to worry about the homeless
  4. British cars don't start
  5. Your boogers freeze
  1. Boston water freezes
  2. Californians weep pitiably
  3. Minnesotans eat ice cream
  4. Canadians go swimming
  1. You can hear your breath
  2. Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
  3. New York City water freezes
  4. Miami residents plan vacations further South
  1. French cars don't start
  2. You plan a vacation in Mexico
  3. Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you
  1. Too cold to ski
  2. You need jumper cables to get the car going
  1. You plan your vacation in Houston
  2. American cars don't start
  1. Alaskans put on T-shirts
  2. Too cold to skate
  1. German cars don't start
  2. Eyes freeze shut when you blink
  1. You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
  2. West Virginians stick their tongues on metal objects
  3. Miami residents cease to exist
  1. Your cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you
  2. Politicians actually do something about the homeless
  3. Minnesotans shovel snow off the roof
  4. Japanese cars don't start
  1. Too cold to think
  2. You need jumper cables to get the driver going
  1. You plan a two-week hot bath
  2. The Mighty Monongahela freezes
  3. Swedish cars don't start
  1. Californians disappear
  2. Minnesotans button the top button
  1. Congressional hot air freezes
  2. Alaskans close the bathroom window
  1. Hell freezes over
  2. Polar bears move south