You just might be a graduate
- ...you can analyze the significance of
appliances you cannot operate.
- ...your carrel is better decorated than
- ...you have ever, as a folklore project,
attempted to track the progress of your own joke across
- ...you are startled to meet people who
neither need nor want to read.
- ...you have ever brought a scholarly
article to a bar.
- ...you rate coffee shops by the
availability of outlets for your laptop.
- ...everything reminds you of something in
- ...you have ever discussed academic
matters at a sporting event.
- ...you have ever spent more than $50 on
photocopying while researching a single paper.
- ...there is a microfilm reader in the
library that you consider "yours."
- ...you actually have a preference between
microfilm and microfiche.
- ...you can tell the time of day by looking
at the traffic flow at the library.
- ...you look forward to summers because
you're more productive without the distraction of
- ...you regard ibuprofen as a vitamin.
- ...you consider all papers to be works in
- ...professors don't really care when you
turn in work anymore.
- ...you find the bibliographies of books
more interesting than the actual text.
- ...you have given up trying to keep your
books organized and are now just trying to keep them all
in the same general area.
- ...you have accepted guilt as an inherent
feature of relaxation.
- ...you reflexively start analyzing those
greek letters before you realize that it's a sorority
sweatshirt, not an equation.
- ....you find yourself explaining to
children that you are in "20th grade".
- ....you start refering to stories like
"Snow White et al."
- ....you frequently wonder how long you can
live on pasta without getting curvy
- ....you look forward to taking some time
off to do laundry
- ....you have more photocopy cards than
- ....you wonder if APA style allows you to
cite talking to yourself as personal communication"