You just might be a graduate student if...

  1. can analyze the significance of appliances you cannot operate.
  2. ...your carrel is better decorated than your apartment.
  3. have ever, as a folklore project, attempted to track the progress of your own joke across the Internet.
  4. are startled to meet people who neither need nor want to read.
  5. have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar.
  6. rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for your laptop.
  7. ...everything reminds you of something in your discipline.
  8. have ever discussed academic matters at a sporting event.
  9. have ever spent more than $50 on photocopying while researching a single paper.
  10. ...there is a microfilm reader in the library that you consider "yours."
  11. actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche.
  12. can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic flow at the library.
  13. look forward to summers because you're more productive without the distraction of classes.
  14. regard ibuprofen as a vitamin.
  15. consider all papers to be works in progress.
  16. ...professors don't really care when you turn in work anymore.
  17. find the bibliographies of books more interesting than the actual text.
  18. have given up trying to keep your books organized and are now just trying to keep them all in the same general area.
  19. have accepted guilt as an inherent feature of relaxation.
  20. reflexively start analyzing those greek letters before you realize that it's a sorority sweatshirt, not an equation.
  21. find yourself explaining to children that you are in "20th grade".
  22. start refering to stories like "Snow White et al."
  23. frequently wonder how long you can live on pasta without getting curvy
  24. look forward to taking some time off to do laundry
  25. have more photocopy cards than credit cards
  26. wonder if APA style allows you to cite talking to yourself as personal communication"